Have you ever met someone who is so desperately in need for attention and love? The kind of person who keeps jumping from one failed relationship or dating experience to another? He/she can also be the very same one in a relationship with you! He/She won’t stop texting, calling, checking on you, wanting to know where you are, needs affirmation that he/she is loved and understood at all times. And for some weird reason, it’s never enough for them to know, feel, hear, or see that they are loved! In this audio blog, I explain how it actually could be a good thing!
“A WOMAN’S HIGHEST CALLING IS TO LEAD A MAN TO HIS SOUL, SO AS TO UNITE HIM WITH THE SOURCE; HER LOWEST CALLING IS TO SEDUCE AND LEAVE HIM AIMLESSLY WANDERING. A MAN’S HIGHEST CALLING IS TO PROTECT A WOMAN, SO SHE IS FREE TO WALK THE EARTH UNHARMED. MAN’S LOWEST CALLING IS TO AMBUSH AND FORCE WAY INTO THE LIFE OF A WOMAN.”
Native American Cherokee Proverb
As a very common symptom of failing marriages today I must admit I am not surprised that such an experience keeps reoccurring. Fear not, Mr. Husband, there is help on the way! And it is not as complicated as you’d think it would be. After all, you are a man with the mentality of efficiency, right? Read on.
Since we were not trained to properly connect in a relationship – especially in a long term one – our behaviours became skewed towards avoiding conflict. But, if I had a penny for every single man who woke up one day in his marriage next to his sleeping woman and asked himself “when did things get so complicated?”, I would be renting out a private jet by now. Yes, renting. Because this problem isn’t as expensive as others that could get me rich enough to buy my own jet.
That’s not the point. Anyway.
Here is what you and I know: Most couples today do have a hard time bringing consistent fun and variety into their relationship. After the honeymoon phase the relationship takes a nose dive in terms of passion. Sex doesn’t become exciting as it used to be. Conversations become predictable. Fights never really change. Weeks become boring. And so on. But what I’ve found is that there are very simply ways to overcome difficulties in the relationship such as a “nagging and complaining” wife (or girlfriend, for that matter).
Before I jump into the solution I want to give you a value insight as to what motivates men and women in their own way to frame the experience for you properly.
Men are commonly motivated by challenges, diversity, and variety that could enable their drive to succeed. Women are commonly motivated by depth and security that support their nurturing capacity to produce wisdom. What I’ve found in my work with couples and singles was that both genders are equally capable of showing fear trusting their spouse (or anyone they don’t fully trust yet) in their relationships around 2 certain things. For men it’s vulnerability. For women it’s security.
Does this make sense?
Now, let’s get to it! This audio blog is about methods that Willard Harley, a world renowned Marriage Counsellor and author of the book “His Needs, Her Needs”, used to help failing couples recover and build a sustainable “love platform” from what I gather would be a foundation for a healthy love life.