Leaders Are Created At Work, But Why Are Great Leaders Created At Home?

2 days ago, H.H. Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum tweeted a post that reminded me of the dire need the world has for impactful leadership now. And then my curiosity emerged and asked: What is the best environment to create great leaders today? And the answer is: Home. Here’s why.

“The changing world and its conditions are not waiting for he who does not change; he will regress. The world’s high speed train does not wait for whoever doesn’t learn & develop (him/herself); they will find themselves astray in passing days. #LifeTaughtMe.” @hhshkmohd

Learning and development are at the core of growth and contribution, which are “the needs of the soul” as the infamous Peak Performance Strategist, Anthony Robbins, put it. In order for people to be able to meet those needs, they must be able to accept and leverage on change. People who do so are called leaders. But great leaders are ones who can do so consistently while maintaining peak performance levels at work/business. Great leaders, I’ve noticed from my coaching, are created at home. Why?

Note: I tried to translate His Highness’ quote in the best way possible. I welcome tweaks, if any. 


Healthy relationship values empower work & leadership performance

Values are the build blocks of our behaviors. We will always put effort into things that are important and meaningful to us. The more important they are, the more motivated we are to work on them. Healthy relationships require you to honor your values (individual and collective). Imagine a person who authentically doesn’t honor his/her value of ‘success’ at home, for example, what kind of leader will he/she be at work? Your private habitat affects your public behavior. This is the very place that can be considered a “dojo” for your leadership, especially when you have a relationship and a parter who supports and enables your growth as a person and professional.

Relationship intelligence improves your emotional intelligence

In my TEDx talk, “Wake Up Your Heart” I mentioned that a relationship is like a cup of coffee; what you put in it defines its taste. Your ability to identify and modify the taste of that coffee, the relationship, is called relationship intelligence. One of the best benefits of this kind of intelligence is that it helps you get clear on your preferred and most empowering ingredients to put into that coffee so that you and your partner can enjoy the experience of drinking it. This quality of individual awareness and control of it is what emotional intelligence is all about.

The most impactful leaders and peak performers at work today have very high levels of emotional intelligence. So, just imagine what a person with high relationship intelligence is capable of creating at home and at work!

No doubt emotional intelligence is more rare than book smarts, but my experience says it is actually more important in the making of a leader. You just can’t ignore it. — Jack Welch

A stress free home creates a stress free leader

Dr. John Gray, best-selling author of ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ shares something in common in his TEDx talk with mine: In order to come even more alive in your relationships at home you need to learn new relationship skills. This is the premise of hiring a relationship coach or going to seminars and workshops for the same. Those skills help partners understand how both genders cope differently. Knowing so is the first step to creating a stress free home. When that happens – and it takes consistency in doing so – men and women grow to become stress free in their life and work areas.

If you’re at work and your mind/heart is occupied with the challenges and reoccurring issues at home, this creates a biochemical effect on you which raises the level of Cortisol – the stress hormone – in your blood. When that happens your mental focus decreases, immune system is negatively affected, and digestion slows down, to name a few. With all these systems affected, how on Earth can a person perform at peak, if not at normal levels?

Creating a stress free home entails that both partners are skilled at handling conflict and can leverage on it as a “growth and contribution” tool rather an experience of disempowerment to them.

Speaking of stress, I am running a workshop on the 31st of August 2017 called “How to Practice Safe Stress” for an exclusive group of men and women. Comment below with “I’m in!” and I’ll send you an invitation to be with us. 

Your biggest fan at home helps you become the best leader for others at work

The basis of this statement stems from having a partner who is emotionally available to you who helps create with you a safe space at home that enables self-confidence, self-belief, and personal development. Partners at home who are emotionally available to one another are known to be very supportive and encouraging of ideas and actions for professional and personal growth. I have come across many couples in my career as a Relationships Coach who have designed their relationship specifically around the notion of becoming each other’s biggest fans. They convey their thoughts and feelings in ways that emerge inspiration and motivation at home to the point that both of them walk out confident, clear, and focused in their work lives. This person is there to also inspire you, lift you up, remind you of your greatness, and help you recover when you’re down and need support.

When your environment at home creates such an experience, your personal leadership levels shoot sky high and yield professional performance like you’ve never imagined.

An empowered relationship creates a home that builds influential generations to come

Children are constantly learning from their role models at home, and there is no better environment for them to flourish as impactful leaders than at home. Relating intelligently is really about creating a meaningful connection with yourself and another person. When parents live that kind of life at home, their children get to learn many skills such as listening, communication, decision making, and so on.

Additionally, when parents create a safe space at home for both of them to be themselves around one another, this automatically helps children grow up to be accepted for who they are and have the confidence to do the same for others.

Aren’t all these leadership qualities that our world needs today? Won’t these qualities get passed on to the coming generations?

I believe the answer to those questions is a resounding “YES!”



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