There is a shared belief amongst many men and women today that I found to be limiting their ability to attract or keep a passionate relationship; they believe that after all the effort put into their love life, love will eventually fade. And so, they fear being in love. For some reason, this belief is so strong to the point that the majority of people I’ve interviewed and coached mentioned that sometimes it scares them to be in a relationship.
Even when the infamous Psychology Today website blogged about it a few years ago I found the reasons mentioned there were still prevalent today. If anything, it doesn’t surprise me. There’s a good number of individuals who still value their individuality over sharing it with a partner/spouse.
But despite such reasons, I set out to learn, grow, and observe that is it that keeps love from fading? How can people keep it?
The purpose of a relationship is growth and contribution. Through it, we become better human beings. Click & Tweet!
I’ve found that there are 3 keys to lasting love.
1. Understand that acceptance does not mean agreement.
Learn to distinguish between both words. You might think or believe that just because you accepted something, then it means you agree with it. Wrong. ‘Acceptance’ means that you recognize and acknowledge its existence. ‘Agreement’ means you align with it because it connects with your values.
2. Protect the bond you two share (by focusing on your strengths).
I learned that a relationship is a very sacred experience that two people part take in. It is the moment when two people come together through destiny and fate. Since this is the case, we must be able to set the boundaries necessary for that bond to remain strong and indestructible. This is very much like any building you find today under construction with metal barriers around it. And I’ve found that the best to do so is to focus on your strengths; what makes you great. Don’t focus on your weaknesses. If you’re great at something, use it to your advantage.
3. Honor your feelings to secure your love.
The deepest need for a man is honor, for a woman it is security. In this context, I invite you as men and women to practice honoring your feelings to secure your love. That is, be okay with expressing how you feel in your relationship consistently so that you’re aware of what’s going on in that experience you two share. The moment you are okay with your feelings – man or woman – you begin to trust that your love will remain. Why? Because this is what intimacy really is about. When you share such moments together you begin to understand one another on a very deep level. That level of understanding fuels your relationship and allows both of you to communicate your victories and challenges while being okay with either and both of them.
Exercise: Get a sheet of paper and draw a line in the middle. Then write down on one side your top 10 needs in a relationship, and on the other your top 10 unmet needs. Once you’re done, find in what you wrote a theme. What is that theme? This will give you an idea of what you’re most longing for right now in your love life. With this awareness, I encourage you to express that longing to yourself and your partner.
FREE GIFT: Email me this theme to khaled at khaled ghorab dot com. The subject line should say “EP 13 NEEDS THEME”. I will pick ONE lucky winner and give him/her a COMPLIMENTARY EVALUATION based on that theme.
Comment. Share. Subscribe.